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Thursday 31 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (3291)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (2707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (7507)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (4243)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12995) - you deserved it (1111)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12889) - you deserved it (1383)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6292) - you deserved it (600)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7593) - you deserved it (462)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (803)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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