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Saturday 10 December 2016

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Today, I got pulled over for having an expired registration. I also found out my husband hasn't been paying for my car insurance. Luckily, I didn't get arrested because I had my baby with me. They towed my car and gave me 2 tickets and a court date. Oh, and the cop sent me a friend request. FML

by Lenny_R / 12/08/2016 at 2:53pm / Transportation

Today, my classic car that I've put hours of wrench time into burst into flames when I tried to start it. FML

by ClutchJunkie / 12/05/2016 at 10:44am / Transportation

Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML

by no / 12/08/2016 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

by Dear God Why / 12/05/2016 at 8:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML

by oreosaretoocool / 12/05/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

by Al Staten / 12/06/2016 at 5:03pm / Work

Today, I went to the ER for an asthma attack. I left with a UTI and an elevated heart rate. FML

by ryuuchild / 12/08/2016 at 7:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

by ManagerWithoutRespect / 12/05/2016 at 12:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I fell and fractured my tailbone. I just healed from my last tailbone fracture 4 weeks ago. FML

by pinklatina / 12/09/2016 at 3:01pm / Canada / Health

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

by Lonelyhopeful / 12/05/2016 at 3:08pm / Love

Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML

by sadsadteacher / 12/05/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, Facebook notified me a "friend" had tagged me in one of his photos. It was a group photo of 20, but my face was the only one that was intentionally blocked out with an emoji because I "didn't belong in the group." FML

by ftt / 12/06/2016 at 10:22am / Geek

Today, I was helping my dad sell furniture online after a messy divorce. After organising everything to be picked up, it turned out the buyer was the guy Mum had the affair with. What are the chances? FML

by immisterbulldops / 12/08/2016 at 4:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.