Saturday 25 May 2013 
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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (8013)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2220)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (2525)
On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States
Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (5520)
On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States
Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (2617)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (2111)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (4993)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (3559)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (2452)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (2091)
On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)
Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (3097)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (3685)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41836) - you deserved it (3983)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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