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Saturday 28 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (1809)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (1731)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (3055)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (2341)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17226) - you deserved it (2370)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2734)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (3958)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

#21381743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (2004)

On 03/26/2015 at 6:16am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (1691)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (2375)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13926) - you deserved it (2082)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (1782)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13839) - you deserved it (7993)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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