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Friday 28 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

#21460101
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (2272)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

#21460776
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19423) - you deserved it (1559)

On 08/26/2015 at 12:33am - health - by Whiteheads - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

#21461236
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (1047)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:23am - misc - by smyp - Lithuania

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

#21460185
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (1680)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:56pm - love - by wellthen - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17480) - you deserved it (1610)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19999) - you deserved it (5011)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20895) - you deserved it (1423)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14356) - you deserved it (1250)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

#21460121
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/24/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)



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Friday 28 August 2015

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