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Friday 24 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (5772)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29841) - you deserved it (8737)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (2980)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (4734)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14408) - you deserved it (1065)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (23383)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22851) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32970) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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