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Saturday 17 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53001) - you deserved it (8384)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55135) - you deserved it (7047)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54017) - you deserved it (4794)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53897) - you deserved it (6639)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66787) - you deserved it (4942)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48988) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47129) - you deserved it (5239)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (6285)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (11423)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58767) - you deserved it (5033)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -



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