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Wednesday 14 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54162) - you deserved it (8575)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55831) - you deserved it (7140)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54149) - you deserved it (4800)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (6712)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66978) - you deserved it (4951)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
192 comments

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47238) - you deserved it (5248)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (6298)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48046) - you deserved it (11777)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (53243)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML

#21146408
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (8909)

On 05/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by fuckingdieyouoldhag (woman) - United States



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