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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38960) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

#21136840
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (3807)

On 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm - work - by sheisselluv (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I got a ticket for parking in front of a private driveway. My own driveway. FML

#21135152
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (5007)

On 05/09/2014 at 9:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43400) - you deserved it (4349)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (3748)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43651) - you deserved it (4956)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (3871)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40576) - you deserved it (4878)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, my friend sent me a link to a "horrible" tattoo that he found online, that a guy had gotten at my tattoo parlor. FML

#21133162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (8908)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:55am - misc - by Bad Artist - United States

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

#21133708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5903)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42178) - you deserved it (3240)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (15032)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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