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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38318) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (9187)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46445) - you deserved it (3549)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44230) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (8105)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (8693)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46135) - you deserved it (11496)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44111) - you deserved it (6509)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (3501)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51184) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (5046)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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