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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (9665)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41152) - you deserved it (6032)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50647) - you deserved it (9687)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (3797)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52658) - you deserved it (6302)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (12611)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (5359)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47430) - you deserved it (6890)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (8633)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (5429)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (49409)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States



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