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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46794) - you deserved it (3931)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (5565)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (8715)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52835) - you deserved it (5185)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (5667)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39383) - you deserved it (8290)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (5068)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (48656)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (12330)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

#21136840
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (3826)

On 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm - work - by sheisselluv (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)



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