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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42393) - you deserved it (12432)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45888) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (3689)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (4378)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

#21132642
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (42168)

On 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (4446)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47993) - you deserved it (9323)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML

#21142829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (17215)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56923) - you deserved it (5640)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47266) - you deserved it (5556)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36958) - you deserved it (5663)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46775) - you deserved it (4054)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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