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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45560) - you deserved it (5773)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

#21138539
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (3883)

On 05/13/2014 at 9:58am - money - by monkey2069 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

#21138924
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (7393)

On 05/13/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48629) - you deserved it (5843)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (20977)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (15205)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48010) - you deserved it (4008)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56818) - you deserved it (5003)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49968) - you deserved it (6272)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47554) - you deserved it (3974)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (5899)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico



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