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Saturday 10 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

#21138924
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (7679)

On 05/13/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54501) - you deserved it (7650)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

#21138539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (4466)

On 05/13/2014 at 9:58am - money - by monkey2069 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (22629)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47054) - you deserved it (6119)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42157) - you deserved it (15781)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (4459)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (3527)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58605) - you deserved it (5685)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39631) - you deserved it (6521)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (52708)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (4315)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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