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Wednesday 7 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

#21134110
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (4407)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42046) - you deserved it (4597)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

#21132642
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (43899)

On 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (5947)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, my son gave me some flowers for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the only time I can enjoy them is when I go into the bathroom where they are kept so the cat doesn't eat them. FML

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

#21138556
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49960) - you deserved it (4325)

On 05/13/2014 at 10:29am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47667) - you deserved it (4000)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a $20 gift card to Tim Horton's as a prize, and decided to use it. At the register, I was told that I'd essentially won an empty gift card. FML

#21139747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45333) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/14/2014 at 3:23pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41152) - you deserved it (6032)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52654) - you deserved it (6302)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

#21132154
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49465) - you deserved it (12611)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)



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