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Wednesday 7 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49863) - you deserved it (6436)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (21630)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

#21137290
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (4710)

On 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Gone With the Wind - United States (Nebraska)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62241) - you deserved it (6016)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

#21134831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49895) - you deserved it (4572)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by WTTFFFF (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (58185)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55254) - you deserved it (7365)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56235) - you deserved it (5241)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (3831) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54443) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (13147)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (3786)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44428) - you deserved it (4697)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)



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