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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52438) - you deserved it (18550)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

#21041939
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42620) - you deserved it (4694)

On 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (7047)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41784) - you deserved it (5697)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38201) - you deserved it (4008)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43380) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (5803)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (4852)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37415) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (3594)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36219) - you deserved it (7523)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (14451)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)



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