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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

#21047933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49762) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/02/2014 at 6:32am - love - by itwasalongnight -

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44338) - you deserved it (3856)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57262) - you deserved it (6478)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52201) - you deserved it (4175)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (4253)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44293) - you deserved it (4109)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46639) - you deserved it (4093)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got my wedding photos back. The only decent picture of my husband and me together also featured a fat guy in a crop top behind us. FML

#21041939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45970) - you deserved it (5037)

On 01/27/2014 at 3:55pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (6006)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (15847) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (15907)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44200) - you deserved it (11233)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57840) - you deserved it (20534)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



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