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Sunday 2 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49968) - you deserved it (4271)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (6808)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (4601)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52044) - you deserved it (3869)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56006) - you deserved it (7272)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (5081)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45306) - you deserved it (11690)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (7062)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39929) - you deserved it (10921)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (15062)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43236) - you deserved it (4672)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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