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Wednesday 18 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48897) - you deserved it (4869)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36147) - you deserved it (4462)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (12390)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50373) - you deserved it (3817)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54793) - you deserved it (7211)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53123) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (13112)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54132) - you deserved it (6483)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (9320)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (5261)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37386) - you deserved it (6554)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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