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Wednesday 18 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (12733)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (7221)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54356) - you deserved it (6508)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (4471)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50505) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (13578)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (9565)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (5276)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43338) - you deserved it (6260)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States



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