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Friday 13 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

#20991213
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by carboncoach (man) - Egypt

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38531) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (3372)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

#20992659
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38432) - you deserved it (3680)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (5210)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48081) - you deserved it (5244)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (7037)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

#20990280
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40852) - you deserved it (4805)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by spastic hardon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (6846)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (13351)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

#20992711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (7565)

On 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (7801)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)



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