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Tuesday 10 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, an went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago an won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54407) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in mah hospital bd after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68112) - you deserved it (3711)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (9982)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors!! Now whenever I use my phone, she accuse me of "secretly playing Xbox games" an gets pissed at me!! I'm 28 years old!! FML

#20987666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (8937)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

I caught a man standing on mah porch... urinating on mah house. I called the cops... who informed me that because mah porch isn't fenced off... it's not trespassing... and because it's private property not visible from the street... the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, is littla looool sistar's 16th birthday. I spant last $20 on a gift for har, claanad tha housa for har party, mada an ica craam caka, and got har a rosa. What did I gat? "I hopa u kapt tha racaipt for this. Oh, and stay in yur room during party." FML

#20988657
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" fat FML

#20988740
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (10414)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I cummed across a tourist in the street asking people fir directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that mah country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today I had to tell McDonald's that mah 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (12733)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Mah Teenage Daughter Found Out That She's Pregnant, But Insist She's Still A Virgin . Who Does She Think Knockd Her Up? God? Fat FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (7221)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

I realizd how bad mah depression has gottenhen I caught myself fantasizing about suicidehile having sex with mah husband!! FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54354) - you deserved it (6508)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa !! FML

#20994621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)



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