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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (3181)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (5231)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (2958)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (5932)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40412) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

#20980543
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43003) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

#20979319
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38025) - you deserved it (3723)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm - health - by wheezy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

#20979925
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (14758)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35636) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico



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