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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

#20984021
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44138) - you deserved it (3283)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

#20980160
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (3414)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Broke - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

#20985907
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (4964)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (7044)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35201) - you deserved it (17596)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39474) - you deserved it (6653)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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