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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

#20985382
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (16754)

On 12/08/2013 at 6:44pm - love - by GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - United States

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54862) - you deserved it (3631)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50201) - you deserved it (5554)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (6763)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60027) - you deserved it (5116)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53186) - you deserved it (5043)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

#20979412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (4090)

On 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by nemesis5196523 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68279) - you deserved it (5700)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52691) - you deserved it (3954)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (3946)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49923) - you deserved it (7683)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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