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Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (6129)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52139) - you deserved it (4899)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (13845)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (11837)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44627) - you deserved it (6667)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

#20986260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53934) - you deserved it (7722)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57471) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (16113)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (11871)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53334) - you deserved it (8642)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (52490)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)



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