Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 3 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (10958)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40126) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (5016)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

#20986260
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47909) - you deserved it (6609)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (6596)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51175) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (10557)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

#20985382
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (14363)

On 12/08/2013 at 6:44pm - love - by GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - United States

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

#20980385
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (14581)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - work - by russianfail - United States (Texas)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39189) - you deserved it (5786)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (9879)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: