Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 12 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (7378)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61844) - you deserved it (4445)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (4193)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (47622)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (4750)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51300) - you deserved it (9913)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (11545)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: