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Tuesday 12 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (67001)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, while swimming in the ocean, I felt some sand under my wedding ring. I took it off for a second, and got hit by a huge wave. My ring is now lost somewhere in the ocean. FML

#20961838
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (40891)

On 11/18/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by smiley1014 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31235) - you deserved it (46615)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58348) - you deserved it (2706)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40899) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59844) - you deserved it (9072)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (4570)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51710) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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