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Tuesday 5 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (7164)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (4132)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (6482)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55880) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (19449)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56572) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (3057)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, after hours of organizing and spending around $300 for my three-year-old's birthday party, I realized I forgot to send out the invitations. FML

#20951338
158 comments

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (50379)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)



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