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Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39551) - you deserved it (3504)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (6902)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46241) - you deserved it (14438)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37784) - you deserved it (9574)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40465) - you deserved it (3110)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (8357)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55907) - you deserved it (9728)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (8867)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (4472)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40183) - you deserved it (4025)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (17487)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (2419)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49497) - you deserved it (3714)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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