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Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (14094)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33258) - you deserved it (6586)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (9568)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (7022)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36774) - you deserved it (17474)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48592) - you deserved it (8313)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38275) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

#20932303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (5881)

On 10/24/2013 at 11:52am - work - by s13495 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



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