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Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44358) - you deserved it (6677)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49250) - you deserved it (4810)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51884) - you deserved it (4396)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44873) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45921) - you deserved it (3741)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (34473)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3730)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (4194)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45601) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42563) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (3473)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (11350)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)



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