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Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48942) - you deserved it (4091)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28300) - you deserved it (32766)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (10617)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (4140)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (4509)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (19299)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (4398)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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