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Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (41410)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2209)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50940) - you deserved it (3518)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (5199)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42006) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (4473)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (3956)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (7362)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



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