Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 25 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (44604)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (12429)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54364) - you deserved it (4044)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (5342)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (4324)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45395) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (8287)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50373) - you deserved it (4696)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (5569)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43282) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: