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Tuesday 8 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47353) - you deserved it (4400)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (6202)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (7297)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45222) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44992) - you deserved it (4606)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (6260)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47656) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43935) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

#20914586
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (21801)

On 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm - money - by oneiPodlighter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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