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Tuesday 8 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56169) - you deserved it (6130)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (26287)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I again failed to convince my girlfriend that the $100 in our account is the minimum amount we have keep there to avoid being charged by the bank. We have a joint checking account, and the only way to take her off it is to close the account outright. FML

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (25546)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43350) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52402) - you deserved it (17525)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59544) - you deserved it (5566)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49526) - you deserved it (5575)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45642) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52020) - you deserved it (5921)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (16890)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58562) - you deserved it (3590)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)



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