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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (7658)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50850) - you deserved it (8960)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (8650)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48005) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52379) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (7661)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42158) - you deserved it (16457)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

#20907125
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (5667)

On 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm - health - by likeyourboss (man) - Denmark

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41421) - you deserved it (5345) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48485) - you deserved it (5062)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States



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