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Saturday 31 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I read a seemingly seriou article online looool about giving yur smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave 4 one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18773) - you deserved it (134044)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML

#20861665
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (65578)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, friand told ma sha turnad down a job as a babysittar bacausa sha didn't want to ba sacratly vidaotapad, as sha knaw tha paopla had a nanny cam. I wasn't awara of thishan I took that sama job a faw nights ago and askad boyfriand to coma by. Wa had sax on thair couch. FML

#20862871
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (92590)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, a coworker told me se may be in love wit me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're bot appily married, not to spend time togeter anymore. Two ours later we were bot promoted to run te same project,ere we'll be ( working and in glove fir te next couple of years. ) FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51748) - you deserved it (13531)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today... my boyfriend got offerd a job at Abercrombie. The frst thing he askd was "they only hre hot people... right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. real FML

Today, I Asked Mah Boss For A Raise, Explaining That Another Shop Offered Me A Job At A Higher Rate, But I Would Stay If He Would Offer Me The Same. Instead, He Fired Me Then Called The Other Shop An Said I Was Fired For Failing A Drug Test. FML

#20857270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (6925)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today , my grlfriend freakd out , thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together , sexless , fir over a year. fat FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54223) - you deserved it (6073)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , while working at a client's house , I noticed that there sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (54759)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today..!! my parents told me that I had been acceptd into my top two colleges..!! but they didn't show me the letters because they were worrid that if they spent money on tuition..!! they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of there brand new Mercedes!! FML

Today , I found out tat te very good-looking womano sings fir one of ma favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (8351)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend admittd to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms r too expensive." FML

#20864490
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52170) - you deserved it (5953)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the looool toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree . FML

#20870911
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (6764)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah boyfriend blamd me fir his affair, because apparently I ( should have made it clear to him ) not to have sex with other people. FML

#20864381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60027) - you deserved it (6389)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by yourfault (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)



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