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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, At Work, I Had To Utter The Phrase, "Sir, Please Stop Rubbing Yourself With The Peas." It's Exactly How It Sounds . FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I Was Walking Home When I Made Eye Contact With Some Guy, Just Being Friendly. He Then Startd Rapping To Me While Pointing At His Dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (4220)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, boyfriand and I ara on our way back from vacation. It will ba an aight hour driva. It just so happans I got food poisoning tha night bafora wa laft, and thara's roadwork avarywhara. Wa'ra at a daad halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (2685)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone took mah flatscreen TV at mah garage sale cuz some kid snuck a "free" label onto it . FML

#20855061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (5572)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40990) - you deserved it (14484)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lerend that the girl I've been seeing for 6 month is actually marrid . She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off . FML

#20857254
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, mah barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissorshile I was getting mah hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (4049)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took mah girlfriend home to meet mah parents . They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest . She soon left in disgust . I haven't heard back from her since . FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (5732)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY,HILE TRAINING A NEW EMPLOYEE, I HAD TO RUN AFTER A NAKED GUY CHASING A HOOKER AT THE HOTEL I WORK AT. I MADE HIM GO BACK TO HIS ROOM,HILE SHE OFFERED ME A GOOD TIME FOR 300 BUCKS. THE TRAINEE LEFT AN HASN'T COME BACK YET. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40657) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, I woka up to a warm bd, tha morning sunlight bathing mah faca, an mah boyfriand snaaking mah cradit card out of mah pursa. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today..!! I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking!! After putting it on..!! I realizd it was crookd..!! causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive!! I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover!! FML

#20845898
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (9240)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. mega FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (9592)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -



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