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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44270) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41253) - you deserved it (4221)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43030) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (5574)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41008) - you deserved it (14489)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (3490)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36687) - you deserved it (4050)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (5733)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40677) - you deserved it (3438)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (3682)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (9245)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (9598)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -



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