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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55866) - you deserved it (4095)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (2860)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42684) - you deserved it (4775)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (11446)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43466) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38936) - you deserved it (4308)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (2639)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47828) - you deserved it (6040)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (3620)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (2540)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38237) - you deserved it (9707)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (4089)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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