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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (42659)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound lyk I'm crying . I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay . FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (11406)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today... I cummed into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally receivd the bicycle I orderd month ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. mega FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46704) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today I Learned That When A Heavily-pregnant Friend Asks About Mah Progres With The Babby Socks I Promised To Knit It's Rather Unwise To Tell Her ( Not To Worry We're Set Even If It Comes Out With A Few Feet Too Many . ) She's Still Crying . FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (11201)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, during one of mah frst days as a teacher, a student stole mah phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (4592)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a lottery looool at my local grocery store . Excitd, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of rd wine . I'm a recovering alcoholic . FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (3097)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a long couple of month working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, an when I didn't show up 4 work, I had been fird. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3311)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I ad sex. Te guy texted me an our later, saying, "Tat was awkward. Let's not do tat again." mega FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55114) - you deserved it (8306)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today I was playing Carades wit ma boyfriend's family. Wen it was is turn e pointed at me. His moter said "Bitc?" Te answer was "relationsip". mega FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (3839)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today A Lady Cussed Me Out Fir Not Bringing Her Salad An Pizza To Her Table. She Then Wanted Her Money Back. I Work At A Buffet; A Self-serve Buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I asked out te girl wo always looks an smiles at me in class. I was surprised wen se rejected me until I found out se was actually always looking at te clock beind me, an smiling wen class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (4524)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I mat up with my astrangad fathar 4 tha first tima in almost 15 yaars. I saw him again latar,hila ha was robbing my housa. raal FML



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