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Saturday 24 August 2013

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Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

by Kannachan13 / 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

by oops / 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

by Tyler / 08/25/2013 at 12:30am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

by charlieg9 / 08/30/2013 at 8:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

by Embarrassed / 08/22/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

by Holding / 08/24/2013 at 1:21am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

by gunnerdog / 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

by oD_Ronan / 08/29/2013 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

by pizza girl / 08/30/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

by >_< / 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love