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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (9127)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26717) - you deserved it (42711)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (2535)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46798) - you deserved it (4087)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42042) - you deserved it (11730)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42949) - you deserved it (3174)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42852) - you deserved it (3316)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55938) - you deserved it (8408)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you deserved it (3847)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46736) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (14509)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)



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