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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (7075)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43298) - you deserved it (12098)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44498) - you deserved it (9336)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (15215)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56897) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44513) - you deserved it (2922)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

#20855620
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (4828)

On 08/26/2013 at 8:22pm - work - by gunnerdog (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (4377)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48123) - you deserved it (2694)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48735) - you deserved it (6125)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)



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