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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45921) - you deserved it (3729)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39344) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (5608)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54391) - you deserved it (7830)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (6695)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50208) - you deserved it (4105)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (3876)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (3965)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43636) - you deserved it (4783)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47771) - you deserved it (3536)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (7705)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML

#20858152
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (3005)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML



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