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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47510) - you deserved it (23339)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (3317)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51967) - you deserved it (4574)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (34565) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

#20851161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (2977)

On 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53964) - you deserved it (9982)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60666) - you deserved it (4820)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47121) - you deserved it (5608)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57454) - you deserved it (7527)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man



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