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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (10968)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (3126)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (4624)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (30137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42287) - you deserved it (4867)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (3320)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44775) - you deserved it (3749)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49082) - you deserved it (6441)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

#20854112
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38558) - you deserved it (4254)

On 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47053) - you deserved it (8820)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51494) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML



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