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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (5226)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40728) - you deserved it (9150)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49260) - you deserved it (11928)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48750) - you deserved it (15889)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly, so I responded, "What is this? A picture for ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape, and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42204) - you deserved it (13347)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML

#20852500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/24/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61503) - you deserved it (6640)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (7565)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51766) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (42335)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40799) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47122) - you deserved it (5421)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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