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Sunday 28 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47109) - you deserved it (9789)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44312) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

#20820283
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (7398)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm - misc - by no, don't save me or nothing (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54960) - you deserved it (4672)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML

#20801131
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:44pm - money - by trees - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (7203)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44104) - you deserved it (7267)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

#20813792
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41376) - you deserved it (6629)

On 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by -_____- (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48965) - you deserved it (26201)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (9812)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41175) - you deserved it (4092)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42795) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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