Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 28 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (18636)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45922) - you deserved it (4124)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53586) - you deserved it (4080)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46887) - you deserved it (8256)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

#20818189
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48051) - you deserved it (4591)

On 08/03/2013 at 2:46am - misc - by fsdjhgasjlhg (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37657) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (9613)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (2906)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51088) - you deserved it (4987)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50501) - you deserved it (5080)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55220) - you deserved it (5849)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51912) - you deserved it (5671)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: