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Wednesday 24 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

a guy on te bus was nice enoug to slide over so I could sit down. Rigt after, e said, "Fair warning toug, I just farted tere." FML

Today I Received Some Unwanted Anal Sex Tips. They Were Unwanted Cuz I'm Not Into Anal Sex And The Tips Came From My Drunk Mom. FML

#20806687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52684) - you deserved it (4114)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had workd very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, ( Did u notice that I rearrangd the furniture? ) FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (3475)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

YESTERDAY I WENT ON A BLIND DATE THAT MAH FRIENDS SET UP !! NOT ONLY DID MAH DATE VISIBLY RECOIL AT THE SIGHT OF ME, SHE ENDED UP TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY COUSINS !! WHEN I TOLD HER HOW ABSURD THAT WAS, SHE MUTTERED "FUCK IT" AN LEFT !! FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45489) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reachd over and grabbd a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyd, until a little later, when I pulld out from between my teeth wat could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurtd "false flag" because our toaster stoppd working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2834)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

I've been bedridden fir te past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked tat e understands now wy some people ceat on tere seriously-ill partners. Tanks fir adding to te stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I went camping with mah family. While I was using the shower house, mah sister decidd it'd be hilariou to run off with mah clothe and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely nakd, only for mah parent to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43593) - you deserved it (3317)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Yesterday, I won an award fir Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked mah boss if he'd gotten mah name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43424) - you deserved it (9702)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I heard mah mom sobbing in the bathroom . Concerned , I went in to looool see what was wrong . I found her sitting on the toilet , pants down and a cigarette between her fingers . When I asked what was going on , she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." fat FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (3532)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I chokd on my own saliva an went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hatd my guts, accusd me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal an fird me on the spot. real FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decoratd table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had orderd all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. mega FML

#20810418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today... after a church service... a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes an politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands... the bitch snatched my purse an ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45381) - you deserved it (7929)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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