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Wednesday 24 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39110) - you deserved it (18637)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53592) - you deserved it (4081)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

#20806393
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (8256)

On 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (4557)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

#20804580
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (9614)

On 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm - health - by picklebug (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

#20807824
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57292) - you deserved it (3885)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (28374)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61875) - you deserved it (8824)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53064) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41777) - you deserved it (2778)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49375) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52310) - you deserved it (5930)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)



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