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Wednesday 24 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56114) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51114) - you deserved it (7365)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60977) - you deserved it (13131)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (50181)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58755) - you deserved it (3597)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60417) - you deserved it (9907)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (19690)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (4017)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40528) - you deserved it (4840)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)



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