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Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (43481)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45871) - you deserved it (3372)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40662) - you deserved it (3015)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39814) - you deserved it (4151)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (3307)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (8455)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48024) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

#20783466
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47492) - you deserved it (4009)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Sam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

#20794134
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (8746)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm - misc - by .............. (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45100) - you deserved it (7531)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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