Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (6633)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

#20786957
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52177) - you deserved it (3351)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

#20783919
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43828) - you deserved it (7465)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:46am - misc - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (8929)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48966) - you deserved it (26205)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41567) - you deserved it (3294)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41706) - you deserved it (4278)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (13382)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (42340)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (3150)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (8112)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: