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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (5052)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (59321)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45124) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45295) - you deserved it (4513)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (46912)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (3127)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47471) - you deserved it (8608)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60507) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (32318)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38570) - you deserved it (3631)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (3726)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)



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