Choose the period

Saturday 29 June 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm / United States / Health

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

by unfortunate / 06/30/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm / Czech Republic / Transportation

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

by sulitak / 07/02/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

by Coolios / 06/24/2013 at 10:16am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

by anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous