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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (3557)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

#20760905
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:26am - money - by Forever Alone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59055) - you deserved it (10886)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48651) - you deserved it (7155)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

#20745796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43494) - you deserved it (2473)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48904) - you deserved it (2668)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57450) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45520) - you deserved it (8203)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (6081)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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