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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45621) - you deserved it (4944)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (46220)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49890) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44992) - you deserved it (8877)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54024) - you deserved it (17419)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55500) - you deserved it (5976)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52333) - you deserved it (4473)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52269) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (3069)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45183) - you deserved it (2809)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48765) - you deserved it (6445)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51457) - you deserved it (3176)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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