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Saturday 29 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49339) - you deserved it (2985)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53509) - you deserved it (9294)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

#20757992
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43151) - you deserved it (20761)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45561) - you deserved it (4639)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53912) - you deserved it (8733)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

#20765072
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (8897)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

#20764102
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by uvagirl - United States

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (7167)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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