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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (46074)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47517) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44801) - you deserved it (8847)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53636) - you deserved it (5803)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

#20753850
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45779) - you deserved it (4593)

On 06/29/2013 at 4:02am - love - by bubblegum92 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

#20754680
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40835) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by cheerbabeXoXo (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44964) - you deserved it (2800)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37898) - you deserved it (3547)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (7040)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML

#20745796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43376) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML



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