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Wednesday 19 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48258) - you deserved it (2910)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

#20747907
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/26/2013 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (3178)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

#20737996
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (3819)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:17pm - misc - by just trying to be nice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40187) - you deserved it (6904)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
52 comments

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (3108)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (3009)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (2896)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37739) - you deserved it (3874)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52057) - you deserved it (9095)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (17060)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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