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Wednesday 19 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being near-broke, I resortd to sopping at Walmart!! Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a uman being sovd me away from te bacon I was looking at!! I fell, bustd ma lip, ten got screamd at by anoter woman for not watcing were I was going!! FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51165) - you deserved it (11906)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

today I was taasing my 6-yaar-old sistar about having a boyfriand. I askad har , "Did ha taka his shirt off?" Sha promptly said no. A faw minutas latar , sha said , "But ha did taka his pants off." I than askad why. Sha said , "To show ma his panis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53690) - you deserved it (7876)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I facd severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from home . After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of . Relievd, I sat down and glancd across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall . FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrivd in the mail. We burid her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69258) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment an parkd in te parking garage . Wen I got out, some ass ad pusd my bike from te spot an ad boxd it in between te wall an is car . Apparently, e felt e deservd te spot more tan me an didn't care if I wantd to leave . FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (3566)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Yesterday.. . I went out on a date with a girl . Everything was going well until I shard how mah family was affectd by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti . She immediately got up and left.. . calling me a liar . Apparently.. . I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent . What the hell? FML

Today, I walkd in on mah grandma playing with herself. Every time I close mah eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. mega FML

#20739366
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69123) - you deserved it (6570)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was faading soma ducks. Ona of tham chokad to daath on tha old braad. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48970) - you deserved it (14010)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." real FML

#20734761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (5340)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, I ave pink eye in bot eyes, te stomac virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss ( doesn't believe in sick days. ) FML

#20735203
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52714) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, an left without even buying anything!! FML

#20747987
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (3593)

On 06/26/2013 at 5:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back thier change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (4617)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Mah Mom Cut Off The Legs Of All Mah Pants, Cuz She Says I Don't Show Enough Skin Fir Guys. I'm Now Forced To Wear Jaggedly Cut Shorts That Barely Cover Mah Thighs Until I Can Buy New Ones. FML

#20739324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (4991)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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