Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 17 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50790) - you deserved it (3249)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47041) - you deserved it (4625)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42554) - you deserved it (13914)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

#20741061
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45142) - you deserved it (4865)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

#20741405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44648) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm - misc - by Selina - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

#20743228
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34256) - you deserved it (26882)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by maggie2014 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (5148)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42214) - you deserved it (2954)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (6414)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (4511)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (6652)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: